Moving Out From Home in 2023. An Adult Joy or Pain?

Moving Out From Home in 2023. An Adult Joy or Pain?
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Moving out from home happened like a flash in my face. Just like how Ronaldo left Juventus and was left open in the field for the hunters to feast on, while he watched in awe as they fought over him. Until Manchester United slipped in while we were asleep and signed him.

Yes! I left home to start all over in a place of my choice.

Well, before you say “what’s the fuss about moving out from home? After all, I left home since.” Well, I’m not you, and neither am I as mature and responsible as you are. Some things are not as easy for me as it is for you.

And one of those things is making quick decisions.

I visited Abuja early this year and if you remember in my blog about my travel experience, it was clear how much I loved the place. What I didn’t tell you was that the minute I stepped my foot into that city I wanted to be there. The fresh air was heavenly. I simply whispered to myself that I wanted to make this place my home.

It took a phone call to be the catalyst for me moving out from home to this city. Hmmm… Sometimes I wonder if a phone was manufactured to bring me both pain and joy.

The next 10hours after that phone call, I threw my things into a Ghana must-go bag given to me by my mom, that I was so ashamed of, hides face and commenced on my journey. Ten hours after, I was out on my own, far away from home.

The Mystery.

Before now, I enjoyed how I was moving towards the digital space. I enjoyed how I was balancing the job, my work, and my business. I did not like who I was becoming. I disliked the job system. I loved home. Ah! I loved home. What’s not to love about where you were born and raised? Gradually, I hated how comfortable I became. Too comfortable. That feeling of comfort ate me up every single day. Like ant to sugar, it sucked at my face. Laughing and reminding me of who I was becoming.

I wasn’t one to be put in a place. I was a traveler, I loved exploring and I always wanted to choose and decide, no matter how long it took.

Finally, I sat on that very comfortable work chair and heard his voice, “Chika it’s not in the place, it’s in you.”

I remember busting in tears and holding on to that wake-up call. That call to stop focusing on one place. To spread my wings. That home is where and who I call it. Home is wherever I want it to be.

That was the day I knew it was time. Moving out from home wasn’t going to be dreadful or going to be a hassle like I thought. God ostracized it and made it beautiful.

The Irony.

Moving out from home has been something I’ve always wanted for a lot of reasons but I simply could not because I didn’t think my mom could live without me. But now that I’ve moved out, the truth is, I couldn’t live without her.

Every time I feared for, “How will she cope? How will she handle everything alone? How would she stay alone? When the real fear was, how will I cope? How will I be responsible without her scolding? How will I survive without her food? What would my brother think about leaving?

But when I decided, mom got pissed off when I informed her I was giving all my energy to Port Harcourt. She was the one that made sure I never forgot to pack anything. She was the one that was happy the most.

The bigger Irony.

I’m here now, welcomed by its light, bliss, and quietness. Embraced by the wind of this city, blowing and caressing my skin in its gentle touch. I’m here now, with a big smile, with a throbbing eagerness of what is to come. I’m here now, petrified. Hell! I’m scared. I thought I was fine, but no guys, I’m scared. Every single day is a long chapter.

I thought because I left home, all my problems were going to vanish. But No. It increased. My problems have become uncountable. laughs What was I thinking? That now that I’ve moved out from home like a grown adult, everything would suddenly be in my control? Hell No.

That’s the biggest irony. Nothing is in my control, things have gone out of control, my life has become quieter, my work as a creative writer has increased and the responsibilities have become enormous.

Shortly after I moved here, I fell sick. So sick that I thought I could die. One night I even wondered if it was my last time on earth, thinking if this was how I was going to end my life without achieving my purpose. For more than two weeks I was ill. I kept asking God to forgive my sins, even the meat I stole from mummy’s pot should be forgiven. laughs I asked God to not let me die without enjoying love and marital bliss. (Blame the carnal girl in me winks)
I had to learn to take care of my health on my own.

Furthermore, I do not only have to worry about my mom, but also about my friends in Port Harcourt. I haven’t eaten Eba in months. Plus what’s with all the bills I have to pay? No one told me it was like this.

The Beauty

Now I am in more control of my time. I am my biggest decision-maker. I’ve grown so much over the last four months, in ways I wouldn’t have if I was under my parent’s shadow. My intimacy with God has been spectacular and my parents teaching and upbringing have been a guide directing my path.

Did I forget to mention I finally tried amala for the first time in my life? It was lit. The joy when I finally found Caprisonne is an unforgettable experience. My Instagram community witnessed it. smiles And the best part, I talk to my mom every single day. This our distance relationship is sweet I must say.

Moving out from home

Is moving out from home joy or pain?

It is whatever you make it to be. But before you decide moving out from home to be on your own, make sure you move out for the right reasons. Take note of these important points;

  1. Your parents shouting or scolding is not enough reason to move out.
  2. If your home is not toxic, and you’re not been abused verbally or physically or your mental health is not threatened in your home then arguments aren’t enough reason to move out from home without a plan.
  3. Do not move out without a plan.
  4. Be able to fend for yourself and take care of yourself for a long period before leaving.
  5. Have a steady source of income before moving out from home. Things may get tougher. It’s easier to be prepared.
  6. Don’t leave your friends behind when you move out. You may make new friends in the new city, but the friends you have now would be your biggest support system. Their encouragements would strengthen you.
  7. Be open to surprises. Both the good, bad and ugly.
  8. Be ready. When you’re ready to move out, you’d know. The universe and your family would be in your favor. Don’t fight it. You’d know when you’re ready to be on your own.

Dont forget your faith. Do not let yourself be swayed by others. Hold on to the principles and values you’ve had. Hold on to the teachings of God’s word. Gods got you. Keep grinding and be contented with what you have, you’d watch yourself bloom. I stepped into this town with Thirteen thousand naira only, but now I’m moving into my space in two weeks. God showed up for me and he will too for you.

Now, ready to move out or not ready? Enjoyed this beautiful writing of mine? Or felt something reading this blog post? Drop a comment. So good to be back to blogging. Let’s roll in the comment.


  1. ndinechi Kingsley

    6 and 7 important points are boom….
    Buh why you steal mama meat na 😂
    Have a bliss day my world best

    • chiqj

      Awwww…my biggest cheerleader. Thank you so much. God knows I owe you big time. Plus the amount of meat I’ve eaten from my mummy’s pot is uncountable. 😂

  2. Ngozi

    Wow nice one sweetie God will definitely see you through I have really missed your write ups

  3. Uche Karen

    I’m happy you decided to take the bold step. The Lord will favour you in the land of Abuja.

    PS. Biko make sure you eat eba and afang soup today😀

    • Tamal Adolphus

      Lol…Ekekpo…how many times did I call you?

    • chiqj

      😂😂 my dear come and sponsor this meal. I can’t do it without you. God all the way. Send me lunch bars joor.

      Thank you for always stopping by.
      Love and hugs xoxo

  4. Favour Ongele

    Abuja is a beautiful place and I am sure you would totally love it. Hopefully when I visit Abuja in May next year, we will hang out a little. Have fun boo.

    • chiqj

      Count me in babe. Let’s explore together. I hope you make it in May. Thank you for sharing.

      Love xoxo

  5. Iheanyi Godswill Ekezie

    This is inspiring… Thanks Chika for all you do..

    • chiqj

      Glad to hear that. Thank you for your kind words.

      Hugs xoxo

  6. Tamal Adolphus

    Girl….its those take home points for me 7& 8🥰🥰
    Swears…i wanna say a lot but I’m short of words.

    First of, PH misses you and I miss you more my friend.
    Secondly….i’m glad you took that bold step. Will follow your footsteps babes…you’ve inspired me in more ways you can think of..THANK YOU.

    ….love always…**

    • chiqj

      Such a heartwarming comment. Thank you so much. I’m glad this has inspired you in many ways than you can say. Thank you so much.

      I wish you the very best for when you’re ready to move out from home, and in life as well.

      Cheers love.

  7. Ann

    I couldn’t stop laughing, had to read all over again.
    Thank God you’re finally out of your comfort zone to the real world. Still waiting to see how mine will turn out🤣

    • chiqj

      Yours will turn out exceptionally well. I have no doubts.

      Don’t worry, laugh all you want, my turn is coming. 😁

      Love xoxo

  8. Bright

    Welcome back to blogging dear.
    This one that you are now eating amala I hope it’s not Lagos you moved to. If it’s Lagos you better go back to PH oooo because Lagos is the most stressful place in the world and its not for a darling like you.

    I however do not agree with you on points 2 and 8.
    Cheers Jonah and welcome.

    • chiqj

      I guess you skipped the part where I wrote that I moved to Abuja. Free from Lagos stress, please I don’t like suffering. 😁

      It may depend on the context you’re looking at it from or your understanding of the points. But I believe that if we both talk about it, you’d see that we are on the same page in both number 2 and 8.

      Thank you for always been a huge supporter.

      Let’s talk more.
      Love and hugs xoxo

      • Bright Duweni

        Please don’t hug me mbok. I fall in love quickly….

        Yeah we should talk more. We won’t stop supporting you even when you turn a celebrity blogger

  9. Amaechi Moses

    Reading how you just talked about everything is sooo beautiful. Congratulations, I wish you more success Chika. Also finally you tried Amala, at least you can say you like it.

    • chiqj

      Thank you for the kind words. It means the world to me. And yes! I can finally say I’m an Amala fan. Cheers to trying more new things and breaking barriers. 🥂

      Love and hugs xoxo

  10. Onuh

    Wow, awesome read friend! Welcome to the other side of life. It won’t be easy, sometimes you will doubt yourself but one thing I can assure you, every right step you take each day, no matter the immediate results, is taking you closer to your dreams and eventually you will see the huge strides you have taken since you came into town. Welcome again Chika!

    • chiqj

      Thank you so much. This is such a huge encouragement. 🥺 It means a lot.

      Like you said, more huge strides are to come. Cheers!

      Thank you again for stopping by the blog.
      Hugs xoxo

  11. Emmanuella

    I loved reading this. Your mom tried o. Me I know that my moving out would be at least 2 months of convincing, one month detaching and then plenty “are you sure”.

    I’m proud of you my G, welldone

    • chiqj

      😂😂😂 oh my God! This is hilarious. 2 months of convincing and 1 month of detaching. *laughs* I trust your mom sha. Thank God for mine oh. Such a blessing.

      Thank you Ella for your constant support. I love you.

  12. I sincerely thank God for your life and experience about life chi hold on to the teachings of your mother and the living word of God I have the conviction that you will make your mom proud ,life experiences is the best teacher, keep moving, keep holding on to your Creator he will neither live you nor forsake you, God bless you my darling sister

    • chiqj

      Amen. Thank you so much for your wise counsel and encouragement. It means a lot.

      Love xoxo

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