2 Importance of Self Awareness in Relationships

The importance of self awareness would be visible in this story I’m about to share with you.

Ruth was sitting at the living room when Iyke stormed in with a frown on his face. “Fuck you Ruth!” Ruth shook in fear and turned back only to see Iyke walking towards her. “why would you do such a thing?” He asked. “Are you stupid?”.

“What’s the problem Iyke?” Ruth asked perplexed.

“You should have told me before talking to Mandy about our plan. Are you a fool or what?” He answered. Her body stiffened and looked like she was about to cry.

“But its not much of a big deal. Mandy is not a stranger to either of us. For Christ sake, this plan involves her as much as it does us. Its not enough reason for you to react this way. If you don’t like that I told her, then I’m sorry. I apologize.” She said finally and left.

While she was outside she took a deep breath, she was furious. Furious every time she replayed his choice of words in her head. Every time he used fowl languages on her or cuss words. She didn’t like that he did that. In fact, she abhored it. He was a beautiful man with a charming soul. Except when he talks, he says things in the most absurd way; “I love you brat.” Or “Hey bitch.” Or “silly girl I miss you.”

At first it was cute, she thought he was just been blunt but now she knew it was getting out of control. And now she was suffocating. She just held it in because she didn’t want to make an issue out of something so little. After all, he was so sweet to her, respected her, took good care of her and loved her.

                             ***

Are you angry with Ruth? Angry that she should have just told Iyke how she felt and how she wanted to be treated. laughs Well, sadly some of you are like Ruth. If Ruth knew the importance of self awareness then she wouldn’t hesitate to communicate her concerns with her partner.

Before knowing the importance of self awareness its best you understand what self awareness truly is.

Self awareness is simply knowing and seeing yourself first.
Self awareness doesn’t end in knowing & seeing yourself for who & what you are or want, it is also been able to make objective decisions for your happiness based on your self discovery about yourself.

Know yourself first before trying to know someone else.

Some weeks ago someone asked me, “Chika what’s your weakness?” And I blabbered along and listed my weaknesses to this person. Contrary to years back when someone asked me, “Chika what makes you thick?” I just stared at the person and after giving it a thought I shamefully replied, “I don’t have an idea.” Then it dawned on me that Chika you are now aware of yourself and that’s a good thing compared to the past when I didn’t know the importance of self awareness.

Being self aware makes you know your moments of emotions, feelings, actions and reactions. When you are self aware nothing gets to you. People only have power over you when you are ignorant of this fact. I can walk on the road and someone makes a side remark “short girl” and I’ll hear it and continue walking because its obvious that I’m short. I know already. There’s no need to remind me. laughs

If you’re self aware, you begin to know what you can handle, how you react to situations, what you can tolerate, how to avoid tough situations etc. Self awareness makes you emotionally intelligent.

The reason why your relationships has become enduraceship is because you lack self awareness. You are simply enduring your partner not enjoying him/her because you don’t know what you want. You are not self aware about your needs, aspirations, desires and obligations. None. You are just enjoying sweetness like Ruth but behind the curtains you feel hurt almost always. Some only care about daily 2k hahaha

Some things to be self aware of include;

• Who you are?
• What you are capable of doing?
• What are your believes & values?
• What are those boundaries you can’t cross?
• What makes you angry?
• What makes you happy?
• What are your strengths and weaknesses?
• What do you want in your partner?
• What inspires you?
• What do you truly want out of life?
• What are your dreams & visions
• What is your purpose?
• Do you want to get married?
• Do you want to have children?
• Do you want to further your education?
• What can and can’t you tolerate?
• What kind of people do you welcome into your corner?

The list is endless…but when you know these things and consciously reflect on them as you grow and evolve, you’d live a more fulfilling life.

The Importance of Self Awareness in Relationships

1. Healthy relationship with yourself.

My God! This right here is a huge importance of self awareness. There is something Campbell the author of Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person said that I love so much. He said, “Self-awareness keeps us grounded, attuned and focused.” And i couldn’t agree more.

A healthy relationship with yourself starts with being self aware. If you are not aware of who you are then you cannot love yourself the way you ought to. And if you can’t love yourself, no amount of love from anyone else would make you see your self better.

Being self aware boosts your confidence. Because now you know yourself so much that whatever you do or say emanates an aura of confidence that makes people in awe of you. You pamper yourself and pamper others. You do things that you now know makes you happy. You make decisions that are good for you. Omo! What a cool vibe! winks Wahala for who no know em self this valentine oh. Haha

2. Healthy relationship with others.

Yes. This is another importance of self awareness because the bible knew what he was doing when he gave us the golden rule; “treat others in the same way you’ll treat yourself.”

This is why a stingy person cannot hide his/her self. Because they are stingy to themselves first before they are stingy to others. In the same way, you can’t love others without loving yourself. When you love yourself as a result of how aware you’ve become, that love begins to spread towards others.

Thats how they will ask you, what kind of woman do you want? And your answer would be; a good woman. Hey God! Don’t do that please. Some women are good but they are foolish upstairs. Some men are good but they are bunch of lazy dudes. And when the good woman come into your life, three months later there’s already catastrophe in the relationship because you weren’t self aware of your needs and desires. Be specific.

I don’t have stingy friends because I dislike stingy people. If I meet you and like you and later find out that you are not a giver, I run. I don’t endure. I don’t manage. I’m not a manager and neither are you. So please communicate your awareness adequately to build a healthy relationship with yourself and others as well.

Valentine is coming. Be self aware before you shoot that shot. So that you’ll not have a Val that has pink lips, six packs, speaks well but cannot flush the toilet after shitting. I come in peace. Hahaha

Any thoughts or opinions on what you just read? Are you self aware? Even felt left out in your relationship because you weren’t self aware of what you wanted? Please share in the comment.