A thousand reasons you shouldn’t forgive that person

That same face

That same voice

That same aura

That Egocentric look

That exterior

You see once they are before you.

Or maybe

The coldness

The anger

The pain

The aftermath

The consequences

The evil

The infliction

Is more than enough reason why you shouldn’t forgive that person.

But there’s one reason enough for you to forgive and let go.

And that is what today’s word about?

Stay with me…

I remember all those emotions swell in my heart when ever I thought of how they hurt me, be it family, friends or anyone at all. And believe me it wasn’t as cool as I make it sound.

But I also remember how I couldn’t stay in the same room with them. How I hated the mere mention if their names, or how I avoided them like a plague , to avoid story that touches the heart. How I also wanted nothing to do with them ever again in my life.

Was i doing myself any good? Maybe Yes.

Maybe I was protecting my self from any future pain and betrayal.

Also Maybe No.

I may have been protecting my self but I was also destroying my heart. All those anger, pent up frustration, hatred, stored on the inside burning and ruining the chances of my heart ever been at peace or the thought that change could happen.

All because I couldn’t forgive.

I thought I was protecting myself but instead I was destroying myself.

What changed? you may ask

One thing. That one reason changed everything. And I’m telling you now.

“Can you boldly and confidently say that you have never hurt anyone?”

The answer to that question is that one reason enough for you to let go.

You’ve definitely hurt someone and yet you we’re forgiven. And even if you weren’t, can you stand to look into the mind of that person and see the hatred they feel for you. I bet you can’t.

Whoever said forgiveness is easy is a total liar.
Forgiveness isn’t easy.
Its one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
But it can be done.

You can’t just wake up and decide to forgive that person. It doesn’t happen that way.
But in time it can happen.

Time heals. Time is an illusion and with time brings chances and opportunities. To think. To embrace. To feel. To reconcile. Be it our thoughts, our actions, and reactions.

Talk to God. God is everything. There’s this scripture I love so much. It has commanded results for me.

Proverbs 21:1
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.

Gods heart is a heart of love. A heart of peace. He can change everything. Its in his hands. If you choose to, if you talk to him about it, then he can heal your heart and restore its beauty. Bringing in peace.

You don’t forgive because the other person deserves it. You forgive because you deserve it.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you trust.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you loosen your boundaries.
It simply means letting go and letting God in.

Are you finding it hard to forgive? Has this post helped in anyway? Share your thoughts in the comment


  1. John Maduforo

    When you let go you are doing yourself the biggest favour by allowing your heart heal and focus on more beautiful things

    • chiqj

      Yes John. You. Not the next person. But You. Because at the end of the day, it is you that truly matter. Thank you for your wise input. Hugs 🤗

  2. Good one dear.. this takes one with conscience on the white-space to a “pause & ponder” state… I have to add up little to that.
    what causes betrayal, pains, ? If I may ask.. Everything could have happened as a result of conflicts.. but “Avoidance has never been the best approach to conflict resolutions rather confrontation and peaceful dialogue”

    Hello’ my good friends.. whenever you consider been hurt.. please do well to approach the person with the critics .. he or she may probably not know that someone has been hurt by his or her actions..

    But just like the blogger said, if you have ever hurt someone before; then there is every tendency gearing towards “you” having a forgiven heart..

    Learn to forgive.. you don’t just do it.. it isn’t easy but by learning..you are far beyond it’s shadows..

    grudges can never grant u complete happiness.. but one must learn “how to be happy every day of his life” Joyce meryer..

    Learning is a process… Those things that hurts you now, or maybe before now or probably by tomorrow… Has once made you happy and pull out those pleasant chuckles..

    then you can build your happiness on those sweet memories..

    I think forgiveness is weak, when we are too logical with our emotional feelings.. (pains)

    God bless you Chika my sweet sister..

    More write-ups…👍👍😍😍

    • chiqj

      Wow!! This is a whole new addition. Truly, learning is a process and it can be achieved. Avoidance has never helped in any way. Thank you so much for this wonderful light you just shared. Love ❤ and hugs xoxo

  3. Sandra

    Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do , but after reading this article of yours I’m reminded of the important and benefits of forgiveness. It’s not easy tho but God will see us through. Amen

    • chiqj

      Yes he will. Just open your heart and receive his light. I’m so glad this has helped you a lot. I’m praying for you and I’m rooting for you. Love ❤ and hugs xoxo

  4. Bright Duweni

    When we decide to hold grudges and not forgive we are treating ourselves unfairly. Learn to treat urself well, forgive and move.

    • chiqj

      I love that word “move”. Looking forward and with a light heart. Thank you Bright for your words. Hugs 🤗 xoxo

  5. Samuel Ayodele

    Hhhhmmm, it’s never easy… People go through alot of pain because they can’t forgive someone that hurt them. We all learn from past mistakes, we get up, dust ourselves and keep moving on..

    • chiqj

      Yes we do. I’ve realized with your comment that there is a pain that comes with unforgiveness. Until you forgive that pain doesn’t go away.

  6. Aida Tamal

    Hmm mm. ….I wanna type a whole book but you already said it all and it’s so apt and precise.
    All I can say now is…… “…invite God, you may not or can never forget. Forgive nonetheless, leaving everything to God and in prayer. This in know by experience is one if not the best way live your life cos’ only then can one truly fund happiness, which is about what you need in life.

    • chiqj

      You’ve said it all dear. I hope we all get the strength to thrive on this path. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Love ❤ xoxo

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