He’s AS She’s SS; Genotype and relationship

“Hi Chika. I know we’ve just been waving at each other but now I really want to get to know you. Can I have your number?”. He asked expectantly. While I just smiled looking at my phone.

“Oh! What’s your Genotype?”. I asked and a weird look appeared on his face.

“What?” He exclaimed in shock probably wondering what his genotype has to do with his feelings. “I’m AS”. He responded finally.

” Oh Sorry. Then you don’t need my number. Goodbye”. I shook my head, hid a smile and left him puzzled.

“Chika baby. You’re a really nice girl. I’d really love to go out with you this weekend. Just to hang out”. He asked shyly.

“First of all, what’s your genotype?” I asked without raising my face to look at him or I would have noticed the strange look on his face.

“Are you seriously asking me that? He asked slightly upset”.

” Yes I am. And I’m waiting for your answer”. I replied nonchalantly.

“I’m AA”. He replied.

“Okay. Cool. I’ll see you then”.

This is the story of my life. I’m Chika Jonah and I’d like to take you back to the reason for all this.

After two years of remarkable friendship and relationship. We were both happy, growing and dreaming. Our days were filled with lots of conversations, dreams and working our ass off to achieve those dreams.
And in one of our conversations, we were talking about injections, blood and then we went on to blood groups and genotypes that was when he randomly said ” I’m AS”.

I instantly froze.

“Wh…a…t did you just say?”. I stammered, hoping I had heard wrong.

“That I’m AS. Is anything wrong with that?” He asked confused at the shock he heard in my voice. I just couldn’t say anything. All of a sudden I was sweating profusely.

“Yes. Everything is wrong with that. Everything”. I sobbed into the phone.

“What’s the problem? You’re scaring me. Just tell me”. He pleaded worriedly.

” I’m AS too”. The bomb dropped with my response and everywhere became quiet instantly. It was too big a pill to swallow.

“Are you sure?” He asked with every emotion in him and I nodded. “Then do the test again”. He added sternly. I didn’t want to argue with him I I agreed.

I did the test again and again even when I knew it was going to be the same result. And each time my resolve weakened and I cried all over again.

I was happy with someone I was never going to spend the rest of my life with.

He begged, we cried but somehow he knew I was going to do it. Faith had no chance.
I broke it off as quickly and painful as I felt.
It was over. All because of a two-letter word so small yet so powerful.

My story is not to make you feel sympathetic towards me but to help you understand this fact;

Don’t be ignorant

It saddens me that even adults in their twenties and thirties don’t know what their genotype is. They walk around, go from one relationship to another without knowing how much of their future they put at risk. Walk to the hospital, give them your

blood samples and wait for your results. If you’re still not satisfied with the result go over to 2 more hospitals and do it all over again. One result may lie, but three results can’t lie.
Don’t be careless or you may end up investing everything in a relationship that should never be in the first place

Don’t say it doesn’t concern you because you’re AA.

Stop that thought. That’s selfishness. You are not in this for yourself but for the other person. For the relationship, you want to build. For your peace of mind and for your future. Notice that every time I asked “What’s your genotype?” I didn’t give mine first instead I waited to hear from the other person. That’s how it should be.

Don’t Stay. End it.

I’m sorry but I’m not going to tell you to stay even if you’ve been dating for six years. Not that I doubt your faith but because your faith isn’t practical. Ask yourself this question; Can you watch your child go through the pains and agony that comes with sickle cell? Can you watch your child constantly face death each time? Can you leave with the guilt of putting them through that? Is your faith strong enough to carry you through this ordeal?
I’m sure you know the answer already. A broken heart is better than a broken future.

Be Wise

One more thing – I’m probably going to sing my national anthem “What’s your genotype” till I find my man (laughs) so guys bear with my question *winks. And if you are having a crush on me, now you know the next thing…

Be proud of yourself whether you’re SS, AS, AA, AC, SC, CC

Use this picture as a guide.

I’d love to hear from you. Your concerns, your question and your story. Drop a comment or email me. Don’t forget to share this with every young male and female. Educate your family and friends. Love xoxo


  1. Bright Duweni

    It’s very important to know your partner’s genotype, in fact I think it’s the most important question in a relationship, this would avoid many things in the future. Please nobody should talk to me about love and faith. Do the right thing mbok….

    • chiqj

      Yes Bright. It is truly the most important question in a relationship. It’s important the both party know each others genotype even before they go on their first date.
      Thank you always making this place feel like home. Love ❤️ xoxo

  2. Uche

    Wow. A broken heart is sure better than a broken future. I’m sorry you had to go through this. Don’t worry God will bless you with a man that completes you.

    Thanks for sharing your story and educating us.

    • chiqj

      Amen!! You too darling. I’m glad you find this inspiring. Spread the word girl. Love ❤️ and hugs xoxo

  3. Ann

    Wow… Em amazed at the whole write up, though broken.
    Knowing your genotype is a necessity, it’s the future we are talking about… Your kids may end up hating on you for causing them so much pains.
    Chi Em glad you came up this this piece.
    Not to worry, everything will fall in place, just at the appointed time. Cheers!

    • chiqj

      Amen! Yes some kids end up blaming the parents in the long run.
      This post is here to avoid that from happening. Let’s Spread the word by sharing this post with everyone.
      Thank you for the kind words Ann. Hope to chat with you soon. Hugs 🤗 xoxo

  4. Ngozi

    Nice one dear keep the fire burning so inspiring

    • chiqj

      Thank you Ngozi. I have people like you pushing me to do the things I do. Thank you so much. Love ❤️xoxo

  5. Iboro

    Well written and highly important to know my dear. The right one will come for you dear. Thanks for sharing

    • chiqj

      Thank you ma. I have no doubt about that. It would come for all of us. Thank you for your moral support. Hugs xoxo

  6. ini Edinyang

    This got me thinking..Is he AA..lemme go and be sure o😁😁..But an insightful read
    Welldone darling

    • chiqj

      Hahaha, please ask him and be sure. I wish you well. Thank you for your kind words. Love ❤️ xoxo

  7. Aida Tamal

    Damn! !!..another great stuff. This is the definition of “edutainment “;it’s both educating and entertaining . Not to forget the logical reasoning before taking a rash decision by reason of emotional affiliations.
    My babe is always representing.
    Nice one girl.

    • chiqj

      Wow!! Girl you’re making me blush ☺️. I’m glad this piece was able to do both for you. Thank you for always been you. Love ❤️ and hugs xoxo

  8. Aida Tamal

    Damn! !!..another great stuff. This is the definition of “edutainment “;it’s both educating and entertaining . Not to forget the logical reasoning before taking a rash decision by reason of emotional affiliations.
    My babe is always representing.
    Nice one girl.

  9. Esther Francis

    Atleast we have the awareness what about people in the village i mean the ones that have no idea about this. I cried for my little nephew (from my husband family)every time i see him. I wish the parents knew….

    • chiqj

      Oh my God! That is so sad. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your words just made me realize how much more awareness needs to be done about this in under developed areas.
      Thank you for bringing another light to the matter. Love and kisses xoxo

  10. Thanks for sharing this Chika. Your personal experience really make me see it in a deeper perspective. I personally don’t take this things too seriously, but am doing this.
    Thank you very much for sharing.
    Its good to read from you again💃💃💃

    • chiqj

      I’m glad you’ve made a mental note to take this seriously. Thank you for being here and making me blush with your sweet words. Hugs xoxo

  11. Enebeli ogochukwu Sophia

    Very important and necessary but unfortunately many of us get carried away with love, please love can’t bear the pains that comes with incompatible genotype…..Let’s love with our heads and not heart only..,.
    Check your genotype and that of your love one today.

    Beautiful write up my friend
    More wisdoms

    • chiqj

      Yes!! Love with your head not just your heart. Thank you for your good wishes Sophia. Love ❤️ xoxo

  12. IROH CHIOMA Ulunma

    Very educative but a painful experience to have.
    I have been in the shoe and know how painful it could be.
    Calling it a quit between the parties involved is the best thing to do regardless of peak of love/ bond already existing.

    Surely yours truly will surface.
    #keep doing the writing #

    • chiqj

      I will Chioma. And yes, I believe this pain is nothing compared to the joy in the future. We will rise. Thank you for stopping by. Love and hugs xoxo

  13. Mara

    This is indeed the key question before every love relationship is birthed….Girl, thanks for this , lots of us needed to not only know this (cos some already do) but know the danger in not acting accordingly…..
    Thanks for sharing your story…..u shall find the man that completes u without fretting a muscle….
    Let’s all be guided. I have been privileged to have a lovely kind soul as a friend who is SS. My heart breaks every other time she’s in such an excruciating pain Nd I can do lil to help her……
    “A broken heart is indeed better than a broken future”.
    Kudos Chika, more ink….

  14. Samuel Ayodele

    Very good.. We dey the same boat oh.😛😛

  15. Bims

    Very true Chika. I believe this should be one important question to ask even in the friendship stare before feeling will start growing. Thank you for this Chika💙💙
    PS: I just screenshot the genotype picture, lemme study it and avoid story that touches the heart.

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