Welcome to the Fantasy vs Reality of Love

Last night I was listening to ‘one of us’ by ABBA my long time favorites (when ever I play the album all I think about is my dad) but last night all I could think of was a time long before now. My teenage hood. I remembered playing this song then and dreaming of Love and couldn’t stop myself from laughing loudly at this thought

Don’t worry I’ll tell you why…(laughs)

I remember laying on my bunk bed holding my Express music phone(smart phones were nonexistent at that time), then I hit the play button and reduced the volume. Wanting it to sound calm and smooth. Wanting it to resonate through my ears and emotions. I remembered closing my eyes to the rhythm , feeling every bit of emotion and dreaming along. Wondering how love was even more sweeter than they sang. Wondering if there was something special about them that they could feel this big thing called LOVE . Amazed at how lucky they were to be loved so deeply. Wishing mine would be so spectacular. Wishing mine would be like the heavens they sing it to be. Fantasizing how holding his hands would send electric shocks to my heart like the song said. Imagining how sweet my first kiss would be. Playing the scenes of how our swim together would be heavenly. Dreaming of how his baritone voice would take all my pain away. Praying I could experience what they sang about. Eager to fall in love and drown in its bliss.


Finally, I fell in love after growing up… I was in Love!! Yay!! But….

Nothing… Nothing…

I didn’t experience the butterflies in my stomach like I dreamt of. No electric shocks even after I held the hand for straight two hours – hahaha. My feet did not fail me even after I looked into his eyes. The first kiss was as weird and annoying as I never thought it would be. Ah!

And then I fell out of love and fell in love again with another person. I mean wasn’t love supposed to be forever with the best person. So what happened?

I can’t even remember how many times I’ve fallen in love, yet why is mine different from the one they sing about and the one they show us in the movies?

Maybe its like the loud saying “Love na Scam” 😂(in Nigerian voice)

Back to now

After realizing how naive I and other girls my age was back then. I couldn’t stop laughing at our stupidity and ignorance. Now we have all grown wiser and bigger and we know that yes love is not a scam but only love is.

Now we know that love makes us come to you but it takes more than love to make us stay with you. Love is tough. Love is supposed to be more than just emotions. Now we know that God is bigger and he is love. He is the biggest expression of love. Our love for him makes us love deeply and passionately.

Love with commitment
Love with bravely
Love with purpose
Love with God……because
God is Love.

Just love is never enough.

What misconceptions about love and relationships did you have growing up? And have you found love? I’d love to here all your responses in the comment section below.

P/S – never thought I’ll be able to share this silly part of my story with anyone but here I am, doing just that. I need a hug…


  1. Ann

    Shake it off… 😂😂
    Earnestly love is beautiful, sweet just as what you see in the movies… It happens and will never stop happening… Maybe in a different way but in the same world.
    Love happens when you meet the right person, someone you can tell all your problems to and never feel shy about it, someone you can share all your secrets to and never get judged, someone you can be yourself and never pretend about it, It happens when two minds are connected.
    Dont be in a haste to find love, take your time… Love happens when you least expected.
    I can proudly say that Mine was like and is still like that of a Philippine movies💕🦋

    • Wow!! ❤❤❤ now this is what I call an epic love story. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I’m happy you’ve found love. Like you said. With the right person Love is sure beautiful and people love differently. I’m glad you glanced through. Love and hugs ❤ xoxo

    • Interesting …. I guess your love experience is still fresh, especially with the way you described it.

      Am sorry I want to break your table with this question;
      How sure are you right now that you would be able to say all of this & have this same love experience like in the Phillipines movies in just 3 years time?

      Please I would really appreciate your answer.
      Thank you very much.

      • Ann

        Em glad you asked, Banjhie

        First things first, law of expectation states that whatever you expect with confidence becomes your own self fulfilling prophecy.
        Relationship is based on love, care, sweetness and understanding…
        When both parties knows their limit, the relationship flows superb.
        Everything can’t go perfect but I expect mine to be perfect, so then I work on it… We both work together to make sure we get what we desire.
        Your relationship can only work if you want it to work.
        My relationship is 5years old now, and em also married to the very one.
        That doesn’t mean we don’t have misunderstandings, we do… But we make progress to make our relationship stronger so that we get our expected results🙂
        Now, tell me how then will your relationship fall apart when both parties make progress and not excuses?

    • Thank you so much for responding to my question Ann, I really appreciate it.

      Your response is really amazing & it exposed me to another perspective. Am glad I asked the question😄

      Your first sentence about law of expectation really got me too – whatever you expect with confidence becomes your own self fulfilling prophecy🔥

      So you just hit the nail on the head for me when you said both you & your partner both WORK ON IT TOGETHER to make the relationship work.
      This is the choice aspect that I mentioned in my personal comment yesterday – I said love is a choice, love is not a feeling.

      But again, while talking with a friend yesterday, she however helped me understand that LOVE IS BOTH FEELINGS & CHOICE!!! …
      You will have the feelings & then get to the point where you’ve got to make a choice which I believe is what will eventually keep the feelings alive & the love burning🔥

      Thank you very much once again Ann🙏

  2. Iboro

    Great one dear Chika. Love is indeed beautiful when it is with the right person

    • Yes it is. Thank you for your time and input. Love and hugs ❤ xoxo

  3. Interesting experience you’ve shared there Chika.
    I’ve had my share of love experiences too but sharing them now would take too much of time.
    If there is one thing, I have however discovered about love is this;

    You choose to love or not to love.

    Feeling goes a way – its emotional, and our emotions sway every now & then.
    But when you make a conscious decision & choose to love regardless of how you feel that is TRUE LOVE!

    The problem with most of us is we are too focused on feelings because we’ve been made to believe, especially by the media, that LOVE IS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL.

    Like I said above, feeling is emotional & our emotions sway every now & then. So naturally all the things we feel would naturally go away over time – according to Gary Chapman writer of 5 Love Languages; the longest time of the love feeling is 2 years. On the average, for most people, its just a few months. The feelings will eventually fade away naturally because other things will definitely engage your emotions.

    The moment most of us can switch from making a choice to love someone over how we feel or even what we logically think or above our personal expectations; the more we would actually experience the truest & deepest nature of love like God has given unto us; He loved us because He chose to not because He feels to.
    If it’s by feeling, why would Christ die for all our sins even before we were born? ….

    With this little explanation, am guessing you will also see that Love is not about meeting the right person.

    Love then is about choosing to love someone right not meeting someone right👌

    • Wow!! You just dropped a bomb. I’m perplexed. And I agree with you. Love is a choice. We get to decide to love or not to. Thank you for taking your time to share your thoughts. I’m sure people would find your knowledge inspiring. Thanks again. Love and hugs ❤ xoxo

      • Hehe…. I have changed my mind ooo😂😂😂

        Was talking to a friend yesterday about this & she helped me see that Love is mixture of both feelings & choice.

        We humans are emotional creatures & even when we make a choice to do something, if there is no strong emotional feeling & connection, everything will be dull & boring, which may eventually lead to sadness later in life.

        So love is a mixture of both feelings & choice.
        Choice however is the most important criteria of the two – it is fuel that runs the engine of feelings😂

        Thank you for bringing up this topic🙏
        You & I still have pending discussion o Chika😂

  4. James

    I think the key to love is to be the right person to the right person.

    • Yet I keep wondering who is the right person?…thanks for your input James. Hugs xoxo

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