High school love
LATE 2003
He came through the gate looking good and nervous. He didn’t know how this visit would turn out to be. It was a long awaited visitation he had promised and planned for so long. Now it was time to go all out and carry out his plan. She was a pretty and petite girl and he couldn’t wait to see her. When he asked he if she could date him, instead of giving him a yes and no answer, she insisted he come over to the school to visit her; Maybe she wanted to introduce him to her friends or brag about him and possibly show him off to anybody she wanted to. So he indulged her.
After meeting her, on his way back, right before leaving the gate something happened. He saw me for the first time. I was just a big sized little girl in a printed school uniform, just starting my senior year in secondary school. At a time when nothing else mattered except obeying your parents, acquiring knowledge and getting good grades. At a time when i knew nothing about boys or men; I was merely a child who was starting senior year and feeling all grown up when obviously i knew nothing about the ways of grown ups. At a time when the freedom of a girl child were being limited and children were never exposed to learning more. Parents and families were there to stop children from having friends, going out, dressing up, meeting people and acquiring more knowledge. Every child was expected to stay in their room after school each day ( it was typical of the African Nigerian Family).
I was sitting with other classmates discussing over break time and had no idea that he stopped in his track and observed my every move, the expression on my face, the movement of my hands, my laughter and so on. To him i was like a vision from his fantasies. The sound of the bell broke our conversation, so we all stood up to go back to the classroom and that was when i finally caught him staring at me. It was scaring but i quickly glanced at him and left immediately.
He totally forgot the other girl and focused entirely on me. He found out where i lived and began sending people to talk to me. Every one he sent to sweet talk me into accepting him went back with a bigger rejection. I got irritated, i couldn’t stand it anymore “couldn’t this man just allow me to live my life? So he’s looking for a girl he’ll date and keep a tight grip on. And I’m sure he wants a property not a person” i thought bitterly. This thought always made me disapprove him.
I had a whole life ahead of me. I wanted to study more and enjoy every moment of my youth; an age i had not yet attained, yet i fantasised about how i wanted my youth to be; lots of traveling, going on girls trip and spending time with friends. What about my dreams and visions? What would happen to them? The fear of loosing my dreams increased my resolve.
Towards the end of my second senior year in secondary school his cousin spoke to me. It was an intense conversation that opened my eye as to the kind of man he was. The depth of this man who fought to have me at all cost. When he told me about all there is to know about him. I believed him because i knew they were both good friends and brothers. But i wanted to know more. What was it about this man? I became so curious and inquisitive and told myself that if he is as good as they say then I’ll offer him my friendship as an opportunity to know him more. I marvelled each time i wondered why he was so serious about me. I offered him a hand of friendship and he took it. That was our true beginning. Every little thing i learnt about him was refreshing. I enjoyed him and he was such a wonderful person that i started developing feelings for him. Feelings beyond my control.
My greatest fear vanished when he made no fuss when i got an admission into the university, although i already knew how good and kind of a person he was, still every little doubt i had disappeared. I was truly grateful to God for such a man. I studied two years in mass communication and he stood by my side never letting go and never holding me back. It was such an amazing feeling. I got another admission to study Economics for another four years and i went for it with him beside me every step of the way.
I cried so much and nothing could hold them back. I was happy to be pursuing my dreams, but i knew it meant our future together would take a step backward. I was so sad for us, for what we would have to endure. But somehow i knew i had no reason to worry as long as he is by my side
There were times when we thought we wouldn’t handle the pressure. Our families couldn’t wait for the big wedding (as long as he is from a good family and he is ready, marriage follows with no room for dating. That’s the typical African Nigerian mentality) Most people were waiting for us to fall apart. Some people thought we were just crazy to depend fully on each other . There were always problems but each problem made our relationship stronger. We choose to resolve every problem not go separate ways. We’ll cry and hold hands, we’ll pray about every single thing. Every problem brought us closer together. Time may have not been our best friend but we sure did stand strong at the face of time.
In December 2013 my third tear studying economics in school, all i wanted was to spend the rest of my life with the man who gave me wings to fly, who shared my dreams with me and waited for him. I had so many things i wanted us to do together. I didn’t want to waste anymore time so we dragged each other to the alter and made our vows.
Every moment since then has been so beautiful. “When you love that person you’ll want them to fly, not hoard them or want them for yourself only”.
We’ve come a long way from 2003 till now. From when i was his fourteen years old high school crush and dream girl. Its been sixteen years and I’m glad he never gave up on me and i him. He is my everything; my first love and my first partner in this journey of life.
“Love is everything in 2 Corinthians 13:1-8”
“For love to work it must bear all things, believe all things, hope in all things and endure through all things together”
Not one person but Together
